The machine operates on pure chaos and judgment:

1. The Summons: You click “Judge Me,” and the algorithm wakes up and chooses violence.
2. The Interrogation: The tool pulls 10 random questions from a massive database of over 100 potential questions. No two games are exactly the same. You might be asked about your toxic exes one round and your questionable fashion choices the next.
3. The Stereo-typing: Every answer is coded to a specific “vibe.”
   • Can’t drive? That’s Gay points.
   • Own a sword? Lesbian points.
   • Cuffed jeans? Bi points.
   • Garlic bread? Ace points.
   • Sleeps 8 hours a night? Suspiciously Straight.
4. The Verdict: Once you survive the quiz, the tool tallies your score and delivers a final diagnosis. You will receive a title (e.g., “The Disaster Bisexual”), a massive emoji, and a paragraph explaining exactly why you are a mess.
5. The Receipts: It also shows a breakdown of your points, so you can see exactly how close you were to being diagnosed as a “Cottagecore Legend.”

FAQ

1. Is this quiz scientifically accurate? Absolutely not. It determines your identity based on whether you like frogs and can’t do math. If you want a medical diagnosis, go to a doctor. If you want to be roasted, you are in the right place.

2. I got “Straight” and I am offended. Why? If you got “Straight” (aka “Factory Settings”), it means your answers were too functional. You probably drink water, sleep on time, and have a healthy relationship with your parents. Boring. Try answering more chaotically next time.

3. Why are the questions different every time? We have a massive pool of 100+ questions, but we only ask you 10 at a time. This ensures you can play multiple times and get freshly judged on new insecurities every single round.

4. Why is the tool so mean to me? It’s called “tough love” (and also comedy). The descriptions are based on viral internet memes. For example, if you are a “Disaster Bisexual,” it means we love you, but please learn how to sit in a chair correctly.

5. Does this save my data? No. We don’t care about your data. The tool runs entirely in your browser. Your secret obsession with The Mummy (1999) stays between you and the code.